The End of Innocence

A little over a year ago, I saw a story online about a 4-year-old boy who got himself stuck in his family's washing machine. And being the blithely ignorant person that I was then, I wondered, "How on earth did that happen?!" At the time, my son was only 10 months old, and barely walking, and I could afford to make smug, "Where were the parents?!" comments.

You see, until two years ago, I was The Mother Of A Girl. And while she has never been what one might call quiet or demure, she is definitely a GIRL. She does... girl things. She doesn't turn every toy that she encounters into a weapon, or treat each new piece of furniture encountered as though it were Mt. Everest and she Sir Edmund Hillary. She is smart and courageous and a whole lot of fun, but she is intrinsically female, and being intrinsically female myself, I know more or less what to expect from her.

This is not what raising a boy is like AT ALL!!!!

In the past two hours, Nathanael has:

• learned how to operate both the doorknob and deadbolt on the front door (he couldn't quite reach the deadbolt, but fortunately he knew right where a step-stool was).
• climbed on top of the dryer, opened the washing machine lid, and removed the fabric softener receptacle from on top of the agitator.
  
• climbed on top of the dryer again, opened the washing machine lid in the middle of a cycle, and added my clean, red pajama top to the load of mostly khaki clothes. Thankfully, I've had this pajama top for years and years and KNOW that it isn't going to bleed on anything.
• removed the lid from the water softener.
• climbed inside the kitchen sink so that he could better reach the sharp knives that we keep on a magnetic strip in a "safe" place, HIGH UP OUT OF THE REACH OF SMALL PEOPLE.
• turned on the coffee pot after doing his best to fill the water receptacle beforehand.

I am very much "on my toes" with him and have thus far (by God's grace) been able to respond almost instantaneously every time he does something new and exciting, but my gosh he is QUICK! It's getting to the point where I don't dare go to the bathroom for 30 seconds without taking him with me.

The moral of the story is: now when I hear stories like that of the little boy in the washing machine, I no longer wonder "How did that happen," I wonder, "When is it going to happen to me?" Having a boy is tons of fun, but I am exhausted!